Sometimes I think God hates me...

Sing it baby, sing it.

If there's such a thing as past lives I must have been freakin' Hitler...

Because it seems nothing goes right...all at once.

I get to a nice normal place.  Things aren't perfect, normal trials and tribultations.

Then I get hit. 

Not just like, Ouch, wow that was inconvenient...

No, no...

More like, I'm going to threaten your entire life kind of crap.

I seem to end up screwing up relationships without even trying then I get hit with crap like..

So,  I drive older cars because, well, I can't afford newer ones.  

I've accepted that and all that comes with it.   Meaning a lot of time in the garage and I've become pretty handy.

BUT!

When God hates me, he hates me good.

So what prompted this?

Two things.

Drove home tonight from my Aunt's house after trying to help her out with her car and some stuff around her house.  

She's got awesome dogs by the way..

Here's a pic of a couple of them...

So I get off the freeway and the car starts acting funny...

Long story short the Transmission is shot.

Already got a quote.  Looking at around $1600

There goes the next month's paychecks.... Rent is going to be an interesting discussion...

OH!

But I have another car...

Except it's having issues too.  Issues that could make it as useless as the one sitting on the side of the garage right now.

Life happens.  

A bit much...

God do me one thing and please let me get it straightened out so I can at least go to work.

I already have no social life, my friends are busy with their own lives and.....who cares.

Somehow I screwed up things enough to be here.

So yet again, positivity is taking a beating.

I'm positive this is all happening for a reason but the knee-jerk is simply...

FUCK!

I don't know how much I'm supposed to take but I've heard that GOD don't give you more than
you can handle.

ok...

We'll see about that.

Well, at least the grass is looking better on the front lawn.

I'm probably going to be healthier for NOT getting the Bacon Whopper at Burger King last night...

I've got a few beers left in the fridge...

That and, I still know that in the grand scheme none of this matters.  I can remember similar times.  Proud battle scars now.

Lord, I know I'll come through this somehow.  I've done it before.

Good thing I can't make any romance stuff work.  I'd hate to put anyone else through this crap. 

I must be pretty strong...

It'll work out however it's meant to whether I like it or not.   Just like the rest of my life...

Well, nothing happens without effort.  I'm not just going to sit here and sulk about it. 

Wish me luck with the other car.  That and a few prayers wouldn't hurt.  

I may not be as devout as some but I do clasp hands and do some deep talking to invisible people more often than some might think except I'm usually worried about other folks.

Yeah, My aunt, my folks and yes, my muse for all those "other" blog posts.

Still, you know what.

Whomever is reading this.

It'll work out.  I'm not going anywhere ( literally right now ) so no worries. 

Maybe a little more faith is what I need.

An extra prayer from me for the crap you DON'T have to go through.

To those who might be worried.  Nothing but hope and love in my heart.

Peace..

The Glass Floor

Up until recently the term "glass ceiling" was common when discussing women in the workplace.  It was a societal problem, a symptom of a stereotype that held that females of the species were far better suited to the kitchen than the boardroom.

The stereotype still exists but it's far more subtle now.  In the second decade of the 21st century we find more women holding the reigns of business but the numbers show they're still a minority.

Now it's less about glass ceilings and more about what you get paid once you successfully break through it.  Numbers don't lie and on average women still only make 70% of what men do in the same role.  It's just the evolution of the stereotype.  It's systemic discrimination and it's wrong but it happens.

But there's another kind of discrimination.  One that's hard to define and has no champion to defend against it.  It's discrimination born from our own ingrained subjectivity.

You can read any of the articles on how to have the perfect interview to get the job but do you comprehend the hidden message?  You're expected to be at your best but the person across the table from you is usually at their worst. 

Just walking through the door could kill your chances based on nothing more than a personal bias.  Who hasn't suspected they've lost a job because of somebody's closet racism, sexism or ageism. 

But try to prove it.

You can chalk it up to human nature but let's face it, as human beings we're awful to each other.  The truth is, most people go through life with their own little prejudicial firewall.  

The lizard part of our brains tells us that everybody is out to take our stuff and only when you prove that you're not can you make any progress. 

This is why interview advice ends up sounding like a mashup between a polished sales pitch and a Dominatrix's slave. 

Yuck!

This is where the Glass Floor comes in. 

It's bad enough trying to get a job you're qualified for but what if the only thing available is something less than that. 

What if instead of going for the regional sales manager you're forced to apply for grocery stocker. 

Hey, things happen and we all need some kind of income.  

Thing is, you've got an even bigger uphill battle when you're aiming lower than that sales manager gig. 

Nobody really believes your heart's desire is to be facing bottles of salad dressing the rest of your life.  Thing is, your interview for that prime minimum wage gig starts from the premise that it is.  

Meaning you'll have a hard time convincing "Buck the Boss" who rose to his lofty heights after a string of pizza delivery gigs after barely graduating high school that you're seriously interested.

It's the glass floor where those that have supposedly "made it" have no fallback position.  Yeah, you could leave that CFO position off your resume but if you're a bit older nobody is going to believe that you're that into jockeying pallets of Hidden Valley Ranch. 

Get real, stocking shelves is a crap job and everyone who's ever done it knows it.  It's not meant to be a career path but when you're sitting across the table from "Buck"  you might as well be going for a tenured Professorship at Harvard.

It's a big reason why the old saying still rings true.  There's a lot of people with Masters degrees living on the streets.

That anyone would expect a dead end job to be a lifetime career path is ridiculous.  The reality is, they don't.  It's just another "plausible" means of legally discriminating against an otherwise viable and willing candidate.

It is, the glass floor.

My advice, I don't know, I haven't found an answer yet.  Maybe I should try entrepreneurship!  I know I still have that work at home email somewhere around here...