I don't understand you people. You stand there all day long scratching on
your little 4 inch screens and think you're getting something done. I just don't see the attraction.
Everything evolves
and I suppose I have to as well. I work
in technology and the way I used to do things just isn't possible anymore. I've resisted the onslaught of the mobile
revolution and for the most part I've found my convictions justified. In short, mobile devices are about as
intuitive as disarming a bomb. One false
move and everything blows up.
Here's an example of one such "intuitive" user interface. On my phone if you dial a call and it
connects the screen turns off. This
prevents the inadvertent "Butt dial" that could be caused if your
face made contact with the screen during your conversation That's fine except for those times when you
really need that keypad to be
there. Say, when you're deep into your
voicemail setup or stuck in your bank's 34 levels of menu options where you
just must "press the #
key."
You have to press the power button and then fight the phone
as it keeps trying to shut off the screen.
Does great things for my productivity.
Don't even get me started on the weird alien symbols that are about as intuitive as a European road sign.
There's so much pain involved but I must persevere. I knew this was coming and even borrowed a
friend's deactivated Droid Bionic to get used to the way the interface
works. Unfortunately, the time spent
didn't do much to prepare me for what was to follow.
As i slowly navigated through my "pop" culture
shock, questions swarmed my tiny Paleolithic brain...
Where the hell are my
apps? What's
the difference between an App and a Widget?
Is my phone really using Wi-Fi or am I going to get a $500 bill for data
overages? Why do I have to sign up for Gmail just to get an app to tell me if
I'm going to get that $500 bill? I agreed to what? Why did my phone shut itself off? Why do they call it a "Play" store if I'm not
having any fun?
YAAAAAAAAAAAA! ME
WANT SMASH BEEPY PLASTIC THING!
There was one point where I became so frustrated that I had
to put the phone back in its little white box.
Otherwise it was going to end up in pieces on the floor after a sudden violent
impact with a nearby wall.
I have a low tolerance for BS...
Now this isn't the first time I've been "Forced"
to deal with a Smartphone. I've had to
work with every generation of Iphone and a few Android phones but never had to
live with one or more to the point, pay for the consequences.
None of them have ever proved to be as intuitive as the commercials
make them out to be. Is Apple easier to
figure out than Android? Sure but that's not saying much. That's
like deciding whether to be burned at the stake or drowned.
Maybe I'll get used to it but I've already figured out how
to turn off the 4G radio for Internet functionality and removed a blinding
array of apps whose only purpose appears to be to provide me that $500 data
charge. And no, I didn't customize my
ringtone...
As for you mobile media mavens...
If you believe that you can have a full, rich visual experience with that tiny spec of
screen real estate on your Smartphone you are undeniably insane. Sorry to break
it to you but someone had to tell you before you started having conversations
with the voices in your head.
Even with the supposedly "generous" 4.3 inch
screen on my phone, reading web pages is painful, Watching videos is quite
simply a disappointment. Navigation is a
joy (not) with my ample digits (fingers) and often an exercise in frustration. Yes I know about gestures and pinches and all
they do is make everything worse.
Voice control is just a band-aid. Well, aside from the amusement found in how badly it mangles the English
language. Try saying your email address to Google Voice and see what you get, hilarious.
Well, at least I didn't pay much for this technological abomination. I have a refurbished HTC EVO 4G from Ting
that cost me just over $100 and all I want to do with it is make calls and occasionally
use it as a hotspot when I'm on a client site with no Internet access. That's it.
I could care less about videos, apps, email or anything
else. I don't even browse the Internet on
the phone because it's pointless for reasons I've already mentioned. Even installing apps, the core activity of any self-respecting phone geek, is a chore. Forget that tiny screen, I just go to the Google Play store and set up
the whole process from there. At least that option is intuitive. Too bad I had to go to a website on my PC to
enjoy it.
On-screen keyboards?
Predictive or not they still, in a word..."suck." Sorry folks,
I'm a touch typist so this whole culture of hunt and peck makes me
wretch. Let's not forget that I have
fingers the size of hot dogs.
I was
trained to control text without having to look at my fingers especially
considering their unattractive aesthetics.
In short, I'll grudgingly use this thing the way I need to
use it but it might as well be a Wi-Fi dongle with a keypad. I'm
amazed how gullible and accepting consumers are. Confusing user interfaces, Horrible control
surfaces and design about as intuitive as Rorschach test.
The marketing departments have won the war. They've convinced consumers that
counterintuitive is the new ergonomics.
In short they're selling BS and like I said, I have a low
tolerance for it. That tech pundits call
these devices "computers" is laughable. A Smartphone isn't a computer, it's a
device. Using a Smartphone like a
computer is like having to drive a car using two steering wheels and four brake
pedals.
Oh well, I have to go make sure my updates are using Wi-FI
instead of 4G now....
