Tuesday, November 27, 2012

More fun with an I.T. Job Search

I've been going through sent emails again...

You know, the ones that I send to recruiters who shotgun phony job descriptions hoping to pad their stack of "candidates."

I suppose they get their training in outbound sales making cold calls.  Just like Spam and junk email the perpetrators figure it's worth it for the 1 in 100,000,000 odds of actually cashing in.  What I hate is the laziness. 

These bottom feeders don't even want to cultivate their own leads.  Instead they send out spam and stick a "If you know anyone forward this to them" tag line at the end.  

This one was for a spam job posting  from an outsourced Indian recruiting sweatshop.  They demanded I answer a list of questions for them before they even got my first response so I obliged.  

By the way,  I don't dismiss "opportunities" easily but when the email is addressed to: "Undisclosed Recipients", well they're just asking for it...

Top Technical skills: Windows System Administration, networking, Hardware
Strengths: Troubleshooting, planning, communication, attention to detail
Years of Experience: In what? That's a very personal question....
Industry experience: Legal, Computer Software, Pharmaceutical, others
Education/Certificates: BS/BIS, AA/Electronics, MCP, CCNA, PHD in BS
Currently employed (contract/full time): Not Full Time currently
Current Location : United States

Here's where it gets fun...

Why looking: Because it’s such a joy.
Open to contract, contract to hire or direct hire: Contract 1st others considered
What do you like about your current/last position? That it’s over
What do you dislike about you current/last position? That it went on so long.

The above questions about likes and dislikes are meaningless, You’ll never get a truthful answer and have little to nothing to do with placement of a candidate and you’re fully aware of it.

Work authorization: Citizen
Third party info: I didn’t have the first or second party yet.
Current salary/rate: Guess.
Desired salary/rate: No less than $60K/day
Availability: Available but I'm not a cheap date
Vacations planned: I could use one but can’t afford it
Drug and background check: No issues but you may cause that to change
Travel: None, I don’t travel for a job unless the booze is free.
Communication Skills: Speak Write English, obviously better than you...
Any Special Circumstances: Low tolerance for BS, like your SPAM emails
Linkedin check: As though I’d put anything I didn't want you to see, come on now...