Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Down with Sushi Plates for Burgers!

I like a good hamburger.

In fact it's the high point of my week to have one of the so-called "gourmet" variety offered up by such eateries as Red Robin, Islands and a few dozen others that come to mind.

I'm not talking about some tasteless drive-thru  processed meat product with cheese-like topping  on a stale bun where the only garnish is some sad little packet of ketchup.

 Oh no, no, no, no!

A good burger is a symphony of flavors that requires far more commitment than would fit in any paper bag.

We're going to need extra napkins kiddies!

Ahhh, the ecstasy of it all...except.

For some strange reason a disturbing trend has been slowly creeping into my favorite red meat refuges.

It's a quiet revolution but a revolution nonetheless!

Dear friends a nefarious plan is afoot!  A culinary crisis!

Slowly but surely the reign of the round dinner plate is coming to an end replaced with that scourge of flatware...

The Sushi plate.

You've seen them.  They're those horrible rectangular atrocities that barely contain your food.  Perfectly suited for spring rolls and a light dipping sauce but an absolute menace to the devotees of the flame-broiled patty!

I suppose there's some reason behind it.  Perhaps they find the rhombus superior to the ellipse in such things as loading the dishwasher.  Maybe it allows servers to carry more plates.
I don't care.  It ruins the experience. 

Why bother with a plate at all if it's incapable of containing the food placed upon it?

It never seems to fail.  Inevitably I end up with something in my lap or on the table that really should have been in my mouth.  This was far less of an issue with round plates. 
It's not just burgers either.  They do it with salads and pasta too.

I've yet to meet a salad that didn't need some finessing with knife and fork before consuming.   But be warned!  Slice and Dice with caution lest you find half your greenery gracing the table when you're through.

I shouldn't have to think this much about a damned plate! 
I want my round plates back!  I'm not interested in geometry just practicality. 

There's a reason tires and lazy Susan's are round!  They just work better that way.

Hamburgers and pasta are not "dainty" meals so stop serving them on flatware that can't possibly contain the experience of consuming them. 

You might just as well throw the food at me from across the room because I'll have the same chance of leaving the restaurant wearing a portion of my meal.

It's ruining the experience enough for me to notice.