Yay it's my Birthday...

  

I'm with the dog...

I'm sorry if this sounds petty but today was my birthday and you know what...

It sucked ass...again.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not some ungrateful, petty, entitled brat.  I'm just sick of grasping at straws.

Birthdays always seem to suck for me.  At least over the past 15 years or so.

I usually end up spending them alone or working or doing some other crap I'd rather not be doing.

I rarely if ever get to spend them with the people I really want to.

There's a marked scarcity of "happy" in the birthday.  I'm starting to wonder if I used up my portion of all those good things in life.  If so, it wasn't much of a serving from what I've seen.

Excuse the language ( and I really don't care if you don't ) but I'm getting fucking tired of grasping at straws for happiness.  Digging through piles of metaphorical shit just to find the faintest glimmer of a ray of hope.

The worst part is nobody really knows just how unhappy I really am and how badly I need something big and wonderful to happen.

I work hard at it.  I don't expect miracles without a lot of effort but I'm starting to wonder if I'm just fooling myself.

I'm tired of making excuses and giving everyone and everything a pass for walking over me.  Seems it's always about someone else's happiness and fuck mine.

You want to know the worst part of it all?  I'm really only happy when I can share my  happiness with someone else.  

I'm not a great solo act...

The only answer if I dare to complain?

Oh well then...goodbye.

So fuck birthdays, don't bother me with them.  

I'm all about positivity but it seems it's not giving quite enough of a return lately and frankly I'm getting really tired of having to search for or worse spin shitty events in a positive way.

Want an example?  Here's a good one...

I just got on the hook for $2200 to fix my car's transmission.  I put down $750, financed another $750 at 24% and the balance with the tranny shop.

Then to top it all off I had to replace the water pump the day after I got it back home.

Now the positive spin is that I was able to get credit to let the repair happen and I had the ability and  the skills to fix the other issues with the car.

Thing is, that's basically polishing a turd right there.  I'm in more debt now, I was tired as hell at work the next day after working on the car the night before for 3 consecutive nights and I still can't trust the car.

Perspective is everything but getting deeper into the crap you're trying to climb out of just to survive is not my idea of happiness.

I'm not the type to be satisfied with just surviving and that's all I seem to do as of late and I'm fucking sick of it... 

We all need a big win every once in awhile and frankly it's been an uphill battle lately.

The saddest part of all of this?  That to me something big would probably appear very small to you.  

Something small can mean something very big and that means putting self-serving agendas aside.  

Maybe I'm no better.  I'm no altruist but I do try to give more than I take.

Do you? 

Is your internal balance sheet based on a capital investment of your bank balance or your soul? 

Happy Birthday indeed....I'd rather not be reminded of it. 

A little help here folks.  The sunshine well is running a bit low.  We can only hope to reap what we sow but somebody's made off with my crop it seems.

Rant over.  I'm sure I'll blow up some minor positive event to Super Bowl proportions in the near future.

Stephen Colbert frees Birthday song for Yo Yo Ma

Did you notice?

Stephen Colbert's new Late Show is a success all on its own and breaking new ground in the genre is becoming the norm.

He sings, he dances and he tells a pretty good joke.  He's topically relevant with all the witty repertoire of his previous show and then some.

He's been unchained from a role that if we paid close attention to wasn't really that far from the "Real" Stephen Colbert we enjoy on the Late Show.

Which means he's not afraid to mix it up a bit and set a precedent or two.   Who else would have famous Cellist Yo Yo Ma sit in with a jazz band the entire show and wrap up with a rousing chorus of the "Happy Birthday" song.

Which is a precedent in itself.  

Until recently, "Happy Birthday" was considered a copyrighted work and any performance of it from a late night talk show to a kid's birthday party was deemed infringement without express permission and royalty payments.  

Meaning you didn't hear it much on TV.

All that went out the window last month with the pounding of Judge George H. King's gavel.  Meaning the beloved melody can now be belted out freely by tone deaf parents and talk show hosts everywhere without fear.

Last night was the first time since the ruling that a public performance of the song was heard on broadcast television.  Thus giving Colbert credit for yet another precedent while he and the audience serenaded Yo Yo Ma with the song in celebration of Ma's 60th birthday.

It was even more meaningful than John McCain getting booed by Colbert's audience for an off-handed remark against the Obama administration.  

It's better to elevate a tiny triumph of justice than a tired bit of political pandering.  Even if it's only a silly song sung at birthday parties.

It's Colbert's knack for bringing a little bit of nothing to light that can actually be a lot of something if you bother to pay attention...