A troglodyte gets a Smartphone

I don't understand you people.  You stand there all day long scratching on your little 4 inch screens and think you're getting something done.  I just don't see the attraction.

Everything  evolves and I suppose I have to as well.  I work in technology and the way I used to do things just isn't possible anymore.  I've resisted the onslaught of the mobile revolution and for the most part I've found my convictions justified.  In short, mobile devices are about as intuitive as disarming a bomb.  One false move and everything blows up.

Here's an example of one such "intuitive" user interface.  On my phone if you dial a call and it connects the screen turns off.  This prevents the inadvertent "Butt dial" that could be caused if your face made contact with the screen during your conversation  That's fine except for those times when you really need that keypad  to be there.  Say, when you're deep into your voicemail setup or stuck in your bank's 34 levels of menu options where you just  must "press the # key." 

You have to press the power button and then fight the phone as it keeps trying to shut off the screen.  Does great things for my productivity.  Don't even get me started on the weird alien symbols that are  about as intuitive as a European road sign.

There's so much pain involved but I must persevere.  I knew this was coming and even borrowed a friend's deactivated Droid Bionic to get used to the way the interface works.  Unfortunately, the time spent didn't do much to prepare me for what was to follow. 

As i slowly navigated through my "pop" culture shock, questions swarmed my tiny Paleolithic brain...

 Where the hell are my apps?     What's the difference between an App and a Widget?   Is my phone really using Wi-Fi or am I going to get a $500 bill for data overages?  Why do I have to sign up for Gmail just to get an app to tell me if I'm going to get that $500 bill?        I agreed to what?           Why did my phone shut itself off?           Why do they call it a "Play" store if I'm not having any fun?

YAAAAAAAAAAAA!  ME WANT SMASH BEEPY PLASTIC THING!

There was one point where I became so frustrated that I had to put the phone back in its little white box.  Otherwise it was going to end up in pieces on the floor after a sudden violent impact with a nearby wall.

I have a low tolerance for BS...

Now this isn't the first time I've been "Forced" to deal with a Smartphone.  I've had to work with every generation of Iphone and a few Android phones but never had to live with one or more to the point, pay for the consequences. 

None of them have ever proved to be as intuitive as the commercials make them out to be.  Is Apple easier to figure out than Android? Sure but that's not saying much.   That's like deciding whether to be burned at the stake or drowned. 

Maybe I'll get used to it but I've already figured out how to turn off the 4G radio for Internet functionality and removed a blinding array of apps whose only purpose appears to be to provide me that $500 data charge.  And no, I didn't customize my ringtone...

As for you mobile media mavens...

If you believe that you can have a full, rich visual experience with that tiny spec of screen real estate on your Smartphone you are undeniably insane. Sorry to break it to you but someone had to tell you before you started having conversations with the voices in your head.

Even with the supposedly "generous" 4.3 inch screen on my phone, reading web pages is painful, Watching videos is quite simply a disappointment.  Navigation is a joy (not) with my ample digits (fingers) and often an exercise in frustration.  Yes I know about gestures and pinches and all they do is make everything worse. 

Voice control  is just a band-aid.  Well, aside from the amusement  found in how badly it mangles the English language. Try saying your email address to Google Voice and see what you get, hilarious.

Well, at least I didn't pay much for this technological abomination.  I have a refurbished HTC EVO 4G from Ting that cost me just over $100 and all I want to do with it is make calls and occasionally use it as a hotspot when I'm on a client site with no Internet access.  That's it. 

I could care less about videos, apps, email or anything else.  I don't even browse the Internet on the phone because it's pointless for reasons I've already mentioned.  Even installing  apps, the core activity of any self-respecting phone geek,  is a chore.  Forget that tiny screen,  I just go to the Google Play store and set up the whole process from there.   At least that option is intuitive.  Too bad I had to go to a website on my PC to enjoy it.

On-screen keyboards?  Predictive or not they still, in a word..."suck."  Sorry folks,  I'm a touch typist so this whole culture of hunt and peck makes me wretch.    Let's not forget that I have fingers the size of hot dogs.

I was trained to control text without having to look at my fingers especially considering their unattractive aesthetics.

In short, I'll grudgingly use this thing the way I need to use it but it might as well be a Wi-Fi dongle with a keypad.   I'm amazed how gullible and accepting consumers are.  Confusing user interfaces, Horrible control surfaces and design about as intuitive as Rorschach test.

The marketing departments have won the war.  They've convinced consumers that counterintuitive is the new ergonomics.   

In short they're selling BS and like I said, I have a low tolerance for it.  That tech pundits call these devices "computers" is laughable.  A Smartphone isn't a computer, it's a device.  Using a Smartphone like a computer is like having to drive a car using two steering wheels and four brake pedals. 

Oh well, I have to go make sure my updates are using Wi-FI instead of 4G now....

If technology is the tool, why am I the one getting used?

Technology's great isn't it. 

"There's an app for that" and increasingly there's hardware for it. too.  The next decade promises an explosion of technical doodads that will be able to do anything from having your favorite latte' ready when you wake to alerting you to failing health.

Ain't it grand.  Our entire lives, every need, every whim, every action collected, recorded, monitored and stored.  Today, a newborn baby can expect a record of everything they've ever done from cradle to grave.

How convenient, how secure, how exciting this gilded cage we're making for ourselves.  Until we found out about the antics of the NSA recently, the concept could be brushed off as the ramblings of a crank.  Regardless of the level of technical expertise governments may or may not have, the event shocked a technology addicted populace even if only for a moment.

For the next few months at least, anyone selling anything with the word "privacy" is sure to do well until the next shiny bauble comes along.

Short of an EMP pulse from space knocking us back to the 19th century, change never happens overnight.  It's gradual no matter how exponential Moore's law becomes.  Today it's a fingerprint reader on an Iphone or the convenience of storing your private data in the cloud.  Most people wouldn't give a second thought to what it really means to swap out an Android phone and find all their personal data and settings automatically downloaded to its replacement. 

It's just  cool because it's so convenient.  Never mind someone else has control of your stuff...

All you have to do is stress the utility of that new toy and privacy goes out the window.  That anyone who uses a  Smartphone expects the data on it to be private in the first place is laughable but they do. 

 You can choose not to participate but soon find yourself ostracized.  Socialization, personal economy and even careers increasingly demand you jump on the bandwagon.

Technology isn't a bad thing so long as it remains a tool but it seems we're moving toward an age where the tool is used against us.

Consider a world where your smartphone snitches to your health insurance company via its NFC payment capability while your car verifies your location via GPS.  There's no denying it, you got the supersized fries and your health premium is going up because of it.

Consider your car insurance company monitoring every mile and basing your premium on what they find out.  It's already happening with at least one major insurance carrier.

Maybe you get a discount for driving 5 miles under the speed limit and ordering the salad instead of the burger.  That makes it all ok, right?

It's the small changes in what is considered acceptable that gradually erode personal freedoms and liberties.  Consider that for your discounted premiums you've essentially subjected yourself to a set of values you may not share.  As it becomes a more accepted practice you become more powerless.

Companies are essentially demanding compliance from their customers.  What happened here?  Since when does a customer have to justify themselves to  the cashier?

It's simple really. 

You're a prisoner, worse, you pay dearly for the privilege while the whole time doggedly defending your right to treated as such.

Technology is seductive, slowly evolving our dependency to the point where it's inconceivable for most to live without it.  We're convinced we need it even if we don't.  We must be continually connected and have instant access to everything.

We even create workflows of nonsense just to justify having it.  Is it really that important to be able to talk to Google?  What if all your queries were recorded, compiled and used to create a profile about you that you knew nothing about?

The sad fact is that the services we rely on often don't have our best interests at heart.  Profit and  Philanthropy make poor bedfellows.  So does power.

Once governments discover this voluntary abdication of civil liberties it's nothing for them to exercise control over our cherished providers of our technological fix.

And it is a fix.  If you can't imagine a day without your smartphone you're just as addicted as anyone on crack cocaine.  You think you need it but in reality you don't.

Technology is a tool but there's no reason you should allow yourself to be used by it.  Get your context straight and you won't have to worry about privacy or security.

Ordinary Injustices

Thoughts on a leisurely weekend commute

Recently, as I've been going about my normal daily routine I've been paying more attention to the mechanisms of ordinary commerce.

Take that gallon of gas you're inevitably going to buy if you live in a State like I do with poor public transit.  Conventional wisdom says that the law of supply and demand shall always reign supreme but that isn't necessarily the case.

Pay attention to the financial news and you'll see a correlation between the nervous commodities traders and the yo-yo of gas prices.  Since everyone's afraid of the stock market, commodities are the newest darling of the financial markets. 

That means traders will react to any piece of information that threatens their profit margins.  If the leader of a middle eastern regime has a fit of flatulence it's cause enough to raise the price of a barrel of oil $5. 

You can bet before the business day is over the gas station owner will be out changing his signs to reflect the sudden threat to supply. 

Except there is no threat...

Remember that the fuel in your local gas station is already in the ground and all but paid for.  The price has very little to do with supply or demand.  Rather it has to do with oil companies investing in slick marketing instead of their own infrastructure.   And why not? It's easy money to do less and charge more, especially if you can get away with it.

Lest we forget all those oil speculators who never actually buy anything, they place a bet hoping for the big win.  Thing is, they can only win if you lose and it's in big oil's interest that they do.  After all, it's not ExxonMobil, Chevron or Shell's fault prices are high, it's just "the market"

Considering that speculation can be up to 40% of the cost of a barrel of oil and as much as $1 of the price of a gallon of gas there's good reason to be angry. 

The next time a politician gets on stage and defends record oil company profits with a gallon of gas at $4/gallon or more I'd really like someone to siphon all the gas out of his limousine.  If CNN covered that I might actually call them a news network again...

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/11/opinion/ban-pure-speculators-of-oil-futures.html

Oh but friends I'm not stopping there, no sir (or ma'am)

Like many of you I've had to rely on credit more than I want to.  With prices inching ever higher, wages stagnant and the value of a dollar worth 1/2 of what it was just 10 years ago it's often the only way to fill the void. 

And just like your friendly neighborhood gas station they know a profit opportunity when they see it.  There was a time in this county when excessive interest rates were called usury.  Usury is defined as:

an unconscionable or exorbitant rate or amount of interest; specifically: interest in excess of a legal rate charged to a borrower for the use of money

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/usury

These days the credit card companies and the banks that back them get away with pretty much any interest rate they want.  They did get their hands slapped a few years back when congress passed the Credit Card Accountability, Responsibility and Disclosure Act.

http://bucks.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/22/what-the-credit-card-act-means-for-you/

The effect was putting the brakes on surprise interest rate charges, raising your rates if you're late on a completely unrelated account (Universal Default),  yo-yoing fees and predatory practices against new customers.

That hasn't stopped the 29 % or more interest charged, however.  Congress stopped short of defining what constituted usury which means you pay whatever they want.  Yes, you could go find a better rate with another company but the days of 0% credit cards are over.  Expect no better than 11%.  which is almost amusing when you look at most state legislation (the only place usury is defined) can range from 8% to 45%.  So technically your capital 1 card at 34% is breaking the law in most states.  Good luck taking them to court though...

http://www.lectlaw.com/files/ban02.htm

Something's very wrong when monthly interest fees added to your balance are more than your minimum payment. 

Speaking of Interest the other dirty little secret of credit has to do with getting an education.  Most of us aren't fortunate enough to have a rich uncle or all the money we need to take advantage of higher education.  Scholarships and grants are nice but you can't count on them especially if you go to a private college. 

Such is the case for many in the working world who aren't able to upend their lives to attend a regular public college or university.  Many private colleges try to address the problem by scheduling classes outside of a normal work schedule.  They can offer the same financial aid as a public university and often have private lending available when traditional sources aren't enough. 

Look out for those private sources though.  If usury is alive and well anywhere in the financial world it's in education finance. 

There's a wonderful opportunity in education funding for banks and other lenders to make ridiculous profits with virtually no risk. 

The opportunity comes from government secured education loans like the Stafford.  Lenders who participate in the program lend money at lower rates than private loans not unlike government backed housing loans. 

Understand this, to the lenders of these education loans there is NO RISK.  If the student defaults on the loan the lender is repaid leaving the government to collect on the debt. 

With a sour economy these loans are often the only option to pay for an education.  Worse, with increasing tuition costs student indebtedness can become overwhelming even with low interest rates.  That's where the options of deferment and forbearance come in.   With these options a borrower can buy time (literally) when they are unable to pay their monthly payment but don't want to default on their loans. 

The catch?

It's called capitalized interest.  Capitalized interest is the practice of taking the interest that would normally be paid during deferment and adding it to the principle balance of the loan.  In some cases it can swell the principal balance to 15 to 20% of the original amount borrowed. 

In effect, you pay the interest twice on the same money with this option.  Once for the original payment and again for the interest on the payments you defer when  it's added to the principal payment.  Combine this with loan consolidation which is often used to bring payments to a reasonable level. (Mine were almost $1000/mo. without it) and you have an inescapable money machine that only a winning lottery ticket could fix.

Again, any politician that stands up on a podium and blames the borrower for this legalized graft should be strung up by his toenails. 

We're told education is the road to success but soon find that road a financial minefield.  There should never be a profit motive in education outside of personal growth but we all know that's just an idealistic pipe dream.

So it seems we can't even drive to work or get an education without being subject to someone else's profit motive.  So imagine the depths of depravity when someone tries to convince you a luxury rises to the same level of a necessity.

Ah the price of convenience.  That gallon of milk or pack of cigarettes may always be available but you'll pay more because of it.  So it is with our modern toys. 

After all, who could live without being in constant contact with friends and loved ones or without the Internet at your fingertips wherever you go.  It's all so very... convenient, isn't it.

When does a convenience become a necessity?  When your work requires it? Maybe when you can't always be in the same room with those you care about?

Sometimes I think I'm a bit of a troglodyte and I've been called as much.  I'd like to think that I'm eminently practical.  I could care less how many processors your phone has or how great it takes pictures all I care about is if it rings.

Seems your choices to avoid the hysteria are ever dwindling.  Phones that don't have all those gee-whiz features are called amusingly enough, feature phones.   If you reject the Smartphone revolution these are your only option.  Mobile carriers would try to convince you that all these extras are critical to your survival at any cost. 

Of course that's a viewpoint subject to interpretation.  Along the way with clever marketing and peer pressure the public has been led to believe that paying hundreds of dollars a month for mobile phone service is no longer a luxury but a necessity. 

Carriers will always claim infrastructure costs, taxation and overhead to justify their rates but in the end it's really just about reaping the benefits of a good con.

Look at even the most basic of Smartphone plans and you see mandatory service charges even if you don't use the service.  Even if you don't surf the Internet or send a single text message you'll find yourself paying for the privilege anyway.

So it seems that even the most frugal among us can't escape the fleecing.  Even if we shun the Smartphone,  remain uneducated or never carry a credit card we can't escape being taken advantage of.   It's woven into the culture and reinforced with peer pressure and social marketing telling us all is as it should be and right.

It's not right, however, it never has been but as our lives get ever more comfortable we willingly suffer because we've accepted the programming to our own detriment.  Still so long as we have the trappings of our gilded cage built with institutionalized extortion no one will complain.