More fun with an I.T. Job Search

I've been going through sent emails again...

You know, the ones that I send to recruiters who shotgun phony job descriptions hoping to pad their stack of "candidates."

I suppose they get their training in outbound sales making cold calls.  Just like Spam and junk email the perpetrators figure it's worth it for the 1 in 100,000,000 odds of actually cashing in.  What I hate is the laziness. 

These bottom feeders don't even want to cultivate their own leads.  Instead they send out spam and stick a "If you know anyone forward this to them" tag line at the end.  

This one was for a spam job posting  from an outsourced Indian recruiting sweatshop.  They demanded I answer a list of questions for them before they even got my first response so I obliged.  

By the way,  I don't dismiss "opportunities" easily but when the email is addressed to: "Undisclosed Recipients", well they're just asking for it...


Top Technical skills: Windows System Administration, networking, Hardware

Strengths: Troubleshooting, planning, communication, attention to detail

Years of Experience: In what? That's a very personal question....

Industry experience: Legal, Computer Software, Pharmaceutical, others

Education/Certificates: BS/BIS, AA/Electronics, MCP, CCNA, PHD in BS

Currently employed (contract/full time): Not Full Time currently

Current Location : United States

Here's where it gets fun...

Why looking: Because it’s such a joy.

Open to contract, contract to hire or direct hire: Contract 1st others considered

What do you like about your current/last position? That it’s over

What do you dislike about you current/last position? That it went on so long.

The above questions about likes and dislikes are meaningless, You’ll never get a truthful answer and have little to nothing to do with placement of a candidate and you’re fully aware of it.

Work authorization: Citizen

Third party info: I didn’t have the first or second party yet.

Current salary/rate: Guess.

Desired salary/rate: No less than $60K/day

Availability: Available but I'm not a cheap date

Vacations planned: I could use one but can’t afford it

Drug and background check: No issues but you may cause that to change

Travel: None, I don’t travel for a job unless the booze is free.

Communication Skills: Speak Write English, obviously better than you...

Any Special Circumstances: Low tolerance for BS, like your SPAM emails

Linkedin check: As though I’d put anything I didn't want you to see, come on now...

Pain and Suffering

I'm convinced there's a bit of masochist in all of us...

It's not that I have a low opinion of humanity I think it's just human nature if not biology to need a bit a suffering to validate our accomplishments.  Think about it.  Without pain we can't know pleasure.  Without a challenge, victory isn't so sweet now is it. 

That's not to say that wanton suffering is a good thing.  Suffering for no good reason is the definition of masochism.  If there's a goal to reach, however, it's perfectly reasonable to endure a bit of pain.

That's one of the reasons I hate cheaters in multiplayer games.  They add needless suffering for their own selfish ends.  It may be fun to dominate everyone else for a few hours but after awhile it just gets boring.  Unless that's your idea of fun.  In which case you'd be exhibiting some sociopathic tendencies. 

In which case, I'm keeping an eye on the kiddies when you're around...

There was a line I remember from the movie "The Matrix" and I think of it often.  Agent Smith was interrogating Morpheus and made the following commentary on humanity.

"Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world. But I believe that, as a species, human beings define their reality through suffering and misery"

Agent Smith's premise was good but he paints with a bit of a wide brush.  If we weren't meant to endure some pain we wouldn't have any nerve endings.  We'd just aimlessly walk around stumbling into traffic and occasionally ending up in wood chippers without a care in the world.  We wouldn't have as clear a grasp on consequences either and I'm fairly certain the human race would have been nothing more than a fossil record by now.  In Star Trek 5, Kirk said it best...

"Damn it, Bones, you're a doctor. You know that pain and guilt can't be taken away with a wave of a magic wand. They're the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. I don't want my pain taken away! I need my pain!"

We're programmed to value our victories more when they aren't so easy to obtain.  We've all wished at some point that we were rich or got paid to do nothing.  The reality is that most of us wouldn't be idle for long.  It's more likely you'd find something to challenge you even if you didn't have to worry about paying the bills anymore.

In the case of Bernie Madoff, his challenge was to not get caught, hence my earlier sociopath example...

Hopefully your motives would be more pure but it ultimately comes down to the same thing.  We're just  not happy unless we're striving for something.  It could be your career, a favorite project, a game or even just surviving to a ripe old age.  All of it involves a challenge and like it or not challenge and pain are synonymous terms.

Nothing has value to us unless we "pay the price."  So long as it's a fair price there's no problem just be sure it's worthwhile.  Otherwise we end up being martyrs and masochists which is just unnecessary pain.

Sour Grapes and the Folly of Secession

Article first published as Sour Grapes and the Folly of Secession on Technorati.

Arizona is certainly a trendsetter, unfortunately for all the wrong reasons...

This week, hot on the heels of President Barack Obama's second term the local news reports that over 14,000 Arizona residents have signed a petition to ask "permission" to secede from the union.  The petition was started by the mysterious Nicholas M. of Gilbert, Az. 

Using the White House's We the People website a petition submitted by our Mr. "M" states...

 "The citizens of the great state of Arizona have the right to stand for their principles,” and  “That man is granted unalienable rights, which are not the dispensations of the government, but find their beginnings in God and come from God alone. These are the principles that our forefathers stood for, the principles upon which our Constitution is based, and those in which we firmly place our belief and resolve"

I'm not sure which constitution he's talking about. 

To hold up the U.S. Constitution won't work since it governs the body you're trying to leave.  To hold up a  state constitution is folly since the last state to have anything resembling a secession clause was Texas.  In fact one of the conditions of statehood is to specifically remove any secession language from the constitution of the prospective state.

Arizona isn't alone in its activism and apparently all  50 states have similar petitions in the wake of the election with some more successful than others.   

In Texas an equally mysterious character in the person of Micah H. has managed to collect over 100,000 signatures for his Texas secession petition. 

Strange how all these mysterious characters are suddenly starting petitions.  It's almost as though there was some type of organized effort.  Perhaps by a conservative group pre-occupied with politics and hot caffeinated beverages?

Petitions require only 25,000 signatures to receive an "official" response which upon meeting that threshold is likely to go something like this, "Thanks for your petition, we value your opinion but No"

Even Arizona's fiery state's rights advocate, Gov. Jan Brewer, has publicly stated she did not support the idea of secession.  Of course she doesn't.  Her distaste for the federal government may be obvious but no state can afford to lose its share of the Federal dole.

Unfortunately for the secessionists, they're not likely to find much support from other state governors either.  Setting aside the legal ramifications, state governments are far too dependent on federal funding to seriously entertain the idea of secession. 

When the South lost the Civil War (a secessionist movement)  it was due to a failing economy and flawed economic construct.   Perhaps it is the best example of the dangers of an extreme ideology overruling reason.   Apparently history has few lessons for a secessionist. 

So much for the bloodless revolution.