There are things I should be doing....
They're not getting done....
Things in need of attention...
But my thoughts are drawn to one...
I need to stop thinking about this, busy myself with the mundane...
Tend to those things safe, measurable and plain...
What the hell am I thinking? Where am I going with this?
Is there an outcome any different from the others?
Or am I addicted to an imagined bliss?
I've written of it before but now I feel the wiser.
The heart strains to take flight but the mind screams louder...
"Nothing here for you, why do you persist?"
Why? You foolish analytical child!
Because life was better lived when such a foolish heart was wild....
Better when the tangible held little value...
Better when survival was measured in a shared gaze
Your baubles and trinkets, your empty expressions of pomp.
A manufactured reality, a facade dissipating in a haze.
I've felt, I've known this truth that I ache to share...
But even alone a burden I'm blessed to bear.
I'd give my life to bring the impossible for her.
Even if all in vain...
But Foolish man, shouldn't you be asking...would she do the same?
No matter calculating child. The heart trumps the brain...
To love another is to love the world even if it brings pain.
I will,
I can,
I do
and know what I feel will remain.
My heart never empty, my faith never drained.
But the tear can come now and then when thoughts of wishes unmet.
When pangs of sorrow mix with sadness and regret.
And even then in my darkest I will praise the day.
When I felt that which no words can do justice.
When for that moment the heart would have it's say.
