IPAD Mania, Make it Stop!

I know, I shouldn't be annoyed by the hype.  I actually did a 2 part article predicting the hysteria but I can't help myself...

With Tim cook making ridiculous comparisons like how many more IPADS than PC's were sold in the same quarter I have to point out that the statistic is only valid if you also include things like  staples  and rolls of toilet paper.   Spoiler alert, way more rolls of TP flew off the shelves and it's a seriously more useful commodity.

Then we have respected technical pundits calling the new IPAD a "content creation device" and how we're now in the "post PC era" Here's a news flash, my 8 year old digital camera and my pen and legal pad are also content creation devices, that doesn't make them "resolutionary"  I also don't need an Internet connection for my PC to be useful and I don't have to worry about filling up my flash or blowing my Data cap because I downloaded too many movies.

I'm still mystified how people can enjoy a movie on anything smaller than a 30" screen.  I didn't even like it on a 22" LCD.  It's amazing how marketing can convince consumers that less is more with a few flashy applets and a pretty screen.

Ok, here's the thing.  The new IPAD is still a tablet.  Yes it's got the greatest 10" tablet screen in the world and can hook up to LTE (fake 4G) networks now.  Wonderful, and at only $600 to $800 I can join in the fun too.

I can't stand tech hype.  I can't stand the fact that a now obsolete predecessor to this current generation IPAD only drops $100 in price and I'm supposed to be thankful.

I love how tech shows geared toward mobile devices still rely on laptops for their content while they expouse the virtues of the IPAD's third coming.  If the day of the PC is over then toss the Macbook already!  No? Then accept the fact that a tablet, any tablet, is a complement not a replacement for a PC.
All those nifty apps on the IPAD?  They're toys, nothing more than recreational apps.  Do you think Tim Cook types up his speeches on an IPAD then sends it to his secretary to edit on an IPAD?  Do you think major Hollywood movies will be shot with an IPAD camera?  Not likely if they have a major studio behind them and want to display their work somewhere other than YouTube.

Yes, there's office for the IPAD but it's so stripped down that it might as well be a document viewer.  gotomypc on a tablet?  Yeah, that's what I need, to be scrolling around the screen because I can't see the whole desktop all the time hoping my swipe doesn't accidentally wipe out the RAID array because of a careless flick of the index finger.

If you have the kind of time to be playing games, taking pictures and watching movies on your tablet during the day then god bless you.  Most people I know get up, go to work and barely have time to get 1/2 hour for lunch let alone play with a tablet.  This kind of product is aimed at a shrinking market that can't really afford a $800 tablet that's going to sit on their shelf most of the time.

When you get right down to it the reality is that the promise of a device like this for the general public holds no more water than the middle aged man who buys the red corvette thinking he'll restore his  dwindling virility
...and Apple laughs at you all the way to the bank.

It's crazy - Part 1

It's crazy

I guarantee that next week's headlines for every major media outlet will include a least a blip about the release of the IPAD3. 

We don't often hear about the latest model of refrigerator even if it uses half the energy of its predecessor.  Auto makers will drown you in commercials in a vain attempt to convince you of the relevance of their product but unless it blows up or spontaneously accelerates it will never make the news.

Let Apple release something, however, and it's a global event on par with the Olympics or unrest in the middle east. 

That's what's crazy.  The next installment of Apple mania has already started.  Technically oriented news sites wrote weeks of columns based on leaked photos of parts.  Traditional media outlets even gave the blurry photos a mention.  All over a tablet.

It's not much better with smartphones either.  Apple has a strong presence in this market but the Internet is lousy with reviews of Android based phones as well.  It seems all the technical innovation is focused on mobile devices.   Apparently we're always on the go and are individuals of such great importance that our every move must be reported.

The average consumer apparently needs all of this mobile convenience just to function.  They tell themselves that a day without a facebook update, a twitter feed or an updated Google plus stream is a tragedy.  Woe to the car rental company who rents a subcompact  whose radio doesn't have Pandora support or an input for an Iphone.

I've been called a troglodyte, the definition of which is:

a member of any of various peoples (as in antiquity) who lived or were reputed to live chiefly in caves

I embrace that characterization.  Why?  Because people who lived in caves didn't bother themselves with things unrelated to survival.  I'm all for convenience but with the advent of ever more powerful mobile devices we've managed to crowd our lives with unnecessary nonsense. 

The arguments are of course the level of communication previously impossible without the technology. Proponents will point to the Arab spring of 2011 and the vital role SMS played in reporting the unfolding events.  I can't argue the contribution but I also don't believe the outcome would have been any different without it. 

The world hasn't changed as much as we are led to believe.  We will still be as selfish or magnanimous as we care to be regardless of our little devices.  Technology doesn't change the world so much as it allows more people to know about it. 


Continued in Part 2

It's crazy - Part 2

I firmly believe that President Barack Obama was well aware of the goings on in Libya long before anyone snapped a picture on their Iphone or sent a text message.  It almost rises to a level of technological arrogance to believe otherwise.

I say arrogance because many consumers look down on those not so enthralled with the latest whatever.  In their mind, how could someone NOT be on Facebook or be willing to spend upwards of $500 on a device that is nothing more than an Internet portal. 

There's even argument as to what a computer is now.  Many pundits believe a smartphone is a computer because of its purported functionality.  If you don't do anything important on it I suppose it could be.  Of course that begs the question of what's important.  Watching movies, updating social media and playing games are largely recreational pursuits none of which fits the definition of productivity. 

Even when one chooses to use consumer devices for work they ultimately diminish themselves by being constantly available and ultimately surrendering their own privacy.  Civilization had no issue with advancing before these devices came along.  In fact it may be hindered because of them.

Small applets that provide everything from entertainment to convenience supposedly make the device rise to a status formerly reserved for their PC.  Look closer and you find that you're frequently working with only a subset of the same functionality saddled with less capable hardware.  It's another case of shiny objects and dulling minds.  Because it's convenient and cool it must somehow be superior even if the end product comes up short. 

So while we busily communicate with people we really don't know and make judgments based purely on superficial evidence I have to question the value.  It seems to me that all we've gained is a tremendous amount of busy work.  


Oh but the Internet is open and free with contributions spanning the spectrum of human expression.  Here's the thing, most of it is crap.  Volume doesn't equal value.  Like the old (flawed) contention about monkeys and typewriters the ultimate result is incoherent babble and monkey feces on the walls.

We're in this incessant upgrade cycle where we cajole and tease each other if we don't get the latest version of a device.  Why?  are we keeping up with the Jones'?  Perhaps.  Is it all a product of a slick marketing program? Possibly.  Or perhaps it's simpler than that.  Maybe once the novelty wears off and we realize that our new devices aren't much better than our old ones we become dissatisfied. 

So we anxiously await the next product cycle hoping we'll ultimately satisfy an insatiable desire for our devices to meet a need that doesn't really exist. 

I don't believe a tablet, smartphone or even a computer make the world any more connected.  We're just more aware of it on a superficial level.  It's not unlike the World of Warcraft guild member who's recent passing is observed by a gathering of other guild members in an area of the game. 

On the surface it seems an authentic expression of emotion but the reality is that the  mourning is more for the loss of the player than the person.  Outside of the game the circumstances of the human being have no value.  Not unlike the Facebook "friends" or all those SMS messages sent to people that most of the time we hardly know. 

No, it's a value question.  Does change for its own sake have any intrinsic value?  Only if you like circles.  Change without direction or meaning creates an unproductive feedback loop.  We have fooled ourselves into investing the precious commodities of time and attention on things that ultimately have dubious value.