I watch you go....

Heart wide open
Eyes firmly shut
Not with reason
but faith in...what?

Faith in the unspoken a feeling shared

Faith in a union but no armor to a heart bared

Fool or hero, neither or both

A trust given not earned on little more than hope

What could I do but gather more lines
for another sad tome of a union denied

My shadows her demons both tainting the air

So much promise, so much hope but no fruit to bear

Her love restrained  so shackled by shadows

Mine given freely but fearing the gallows

The day is over the night draws first breath

At the well of the unrequited again I mourn love's death

I mourn the truth more that two couldn't be united

I mourn one last time and for a moment, delighted.

For what it was, so much to me even for a little while.
At times the memory still brings a smile

There's no shame that to love I surrendered

That she woke a still heart with stirred embers

But now I am done and alone is no burden

What I seek lives not here, of this she is certain

Give to me now a moment of grace even if strength shows not on a tortured face

The heart burns strong but seeks not another to know love is to be love

and that needs no other.

A willing Muse...

Sadness is a willing muse.  

The words flow easily from pain like a fresh wound.

I'm not who I was but the comfort of his prison still beckons.

How easy to retreat to my own exile.

How comfortable the lie of a well-worn facade.

How terrifying to leave behind the cage forged in my mind.

The comfort of resignation.   The solace of denial.

The wages of despair from the toil of a fool.

Time to change my occupation.

Time to stop hedging bets never placed.

Time to practice what we preach.

I'm open to the world, I ask nothing but its performance.

Throw away the scales, love isn't measured, it's given.

The connection is there it asks nothing but to be.

It demands nothing but your attention.

The night sky, cold void or open window.

I see the light not the darkness now.  

I seek only what is given.

I demand nothing and delight in everything.

The door closes behind as I step through.  

Nothing behind serves anymore save the lessons that brought me here.

Each day is it's own, each embrace the first.

I will be that which I want to see.

...and I will no longer be alone.

Heart be still

 

Heart be still

Trouble me no more

your nagging insistence

ever drags me to the fore

I've had enough

of this thing called love

I've had enough

of fools folly in search of

I've felt this before

so long it has been

once more into my life

to wreak havoc again

For years I was content

to deny love's caress

For years so fortunate

that for me none did fluoresce

A year ago we met

I felt the flame

But hesitant in my action

I feared the game

Then joy when I saw her

as again she came through the door

heart beaming, mind racing

a love rekindled once more

Finding my courage

I invited her out

she accepted, I dumbfounded

but fear was I without

I thought she felt the same

or so I thought

But always that nagging

was it all for naught?

For me the flame lit early

for her it was not so

she was not ready

For what my heart would bestow

Did I surmise

in the knowing of my pain

that pursuing this one

was a fools errand in vain?

For she was not ready

my feelings unrestrained

Loving eyes from me

would only cause both pain?

Pain for both

sadly it is so

love unrequited

A feeling hated 

yet so well I know

I go down this road no longer

my solitude I must reclaim

Not her fault not mine

simply victims of the game

She might have met me

if the past didn't hold her so

a pain in her so deeply felt

she could never forego

She told me of loves before

of dreams lost in the fray

How solitude she now sought

while she pushed me away

Maybe in the future she said

a chance the flame

but for now it was no

she would coldly abstain

But love in my eyes I could never hide

friendship would always strain

Expectation, desire

in me rising again

  The flame will burn, that won't change

but the pain of it will subside

My life now familiar yet strange

another love has died.

I thought we'd conquer worlds 

But from WE must I now refrain

Once more I seek to master them alone

and From love I will abstain.