Yay it's my Birthday...

  

I'm with the dog...

I'm sorry if this sounds petty but today was my birthday and you know what...

It sucked ass...again.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not some ungrateful, petty, entitled brat.  I'm just sick of grasping at straws.

Birthdays always seem to suck for me.  At least over the past 15 years or so.

I usually end up spending them alone or working or doing some other crap I'd rather not be doing.

I rarely if ever get to spend them with the people I really want to.

There's a marked scarcity of "happy" in the birthday.  I'm starting to wonder if I used up my portion of all those good things in life.  If so, it wasn't much of a serving from what I've seen.

Excuse the language ( and I really don't care if you don't ) but I'm getting fucking tired of grasping at straws for happiness.  Digging through piles of metaphorical shit just to find the faintest glimmer of a ray of hope.

The worst part is nobody really knows just how unhappy I really am and how badly I need something big and wonderful to happen.

I work hard at it.  I don't expect miracles without a lot of effort but I'm starting to wonder if I'm just fooling myself.

I'm tired of making excuses and giving everyone and everything a pass for walking over me.  Seems it's always about someone else's happiness and fuck mine.

You want to know the worst part of it all?  I'm really only happy when I can share my  happiness with someone else.  

I'm not a great solo act...

The only answer if I dare to complain?

Oh well then...goodbye.

So fuck birthdays, don't bother me with them.  

I'm all about positivity but it seems it's not giving quite enough of a return lately and frankly I'm getting really tired of having to search for or worse spin shitty events in a positive way.

Want an example?  Here's a good one...

I just got on the hook for $2200 to fix my car's transmission.  I put down $750, financed another $750 at 24% and the balance with the tranny shop.

Then to top it all off I had to replace the water pump the day after I got it back home.

Now the positive spin is that I was able to get credit to let the repair happen and I had the ability and  the skills to fix the other issues with the car.

Thing is, that's basically polishing a turd right there.  I'm in more debt now, I was tired as hell at work the next day after working on the car the night before for 3 consecutive nights and I still can't trust the car.

Perspective is everything but getting deeper into the crap you're trying to climb out of just to survive is not my idea of happiness.

I'm not the type to be satisfied with just surviving and that's all I seem to do as of late and I'm fucking sick of it... 

We all need a big win every once in awhile and frankly it's been an uphill battle lately.

The saddest part of all of this?  That to me something big would probably appear very small to you.  

Something small can mean something very big and that means putting self-serving agendas aside.  

Maybe I'm no better.  I'm no altruist but I do try to give more than I take.

Do you? 

Is your internal balance sheet based on a capital investment of your bank balance or your soul? 

Happy Birthday indeed....I'd rather not be reminded of it. 

A little help here folks.  The sunshine well is running a bit low.  We can only hope to reap what we sow but somebody's made off with my crop it seems.

Rant over.  I'm sure I'll blow up some minor positive event to Super Bowl proportions in the near future.

These 2 Things were absolute garbage this Christmas...

OK....

Christmas is over, on to the dirty business of who did it badly.

My 2 top picks for crappiest Holiday observations are a tie  between Google's Holiday Doodle and TWIT's holiday (or lack thereof) spirit.

Let's start with the the Google Holiday Doodle...

In previous years We saw everything from adorable polar bears to a toymaker's workshop.

This year we got this....

(Cllick on the image to see it full size)


WTF Google?  

At least last year showed SOME creativity.  This year's collection of noncommittal  imagery not only was limited to just 3 days instead of the full week we used to get, but was so bland and uninspired that it could have represented any day of the year.  

The Holiday doodles evoked no Holiday spirit of ANY Holiday.  The only variance you got was whether you were in the Northern or Southern Hemisphere and even then the words, "Holiday" or "Christmas" were nowhere to be seen.  

Now I get why some overheated Politically Correct busybody may get his panties in a bunch over the whole "Christmas" thing but all we got was a hover text that said, "Tis the Season."

Tis the Season for what?  Boring doodles that inspire absolutely nothing.  No warmth, no spirit, no soul.  I've seen Heimlich Maneuver posters with more feeling.

Even Muslim and Jewish folks can appreciate the largely secular traditions of the Holidays and let's not forget that Google has done Easter, Kwanzaa and Hanukkah doodles in the past.

Are we so afraid of offending some jerk with a Google+ page that we have to screw it up for everyone else?

Who's going to sue over a picture on a search page?  Besides, you're Google, you don't fear courts...

You know, I'm not especially religious but I do embrace the Holiday season. 

I'd someday like to visit New York at Christmas time to see Rockefeller Center and the Cathedral of St. John the Divine.  I'm not looking for some religious epiphany.  These are just places that most American's would find as iconic to the Holiday as Time's Square is to New Year's eve.  It's a cultural thing and Google is getting lazy about it.

We already know that Google can serve up regional doodles for different parts of the world so the whole excuse about offending non-Christian nations is BS anyway.  Last I checked, we were living in the 21st century not the 12th. 

Regardless of what some radical groups may profess, I firmly believe the world to be far more sophisticated than flying into an uproar over the image of a Christmas wreath.

It's not about disliking the design, it's about the vanilla, shareholder friendly dogma behind it.

I won't belabor the point any more other than to say,  Google, bad form dude...

Now on to my second pick for worst example of Holiday spirit.

It's our old Friend TWIT!

What more can we say about the newly "downsized" TWIT operation.  We should have known there'd be no holiday spirit this year after the mass takedown of TWIT related videos on YouTube IN VIOLATION OF THEIR OWN CREATIVE COMMONS LICENSE that damaged more than one YouTube content creator, myself included.

This year we get virtually nothing but a crappy panel show recorded December 1st with the few remaining hosts at the round ( err... make that oblong) table.  All of which suckle at the breast of the dying bovine that is TWIT.

Somebody puts on a Santa hat and calls it Christmas....

What?  No TWIT Holiday special with all of Leo's famous "friends?"  In fact no special Holiday programming at all.  Just a bunch of boring "Best of's" Which is a pretty tall order for a network so short on talent and now apparently ambition.

It's a glaring statement of disinterest.  

For proof look no further than the December 21'st Windows Weekly and you'll be hard pressed to see anything on set that would indicate we were mere days from the Holiday.  

Windows Weekly and Security Now are done from Leo's office.  A spot much more secluded and private than the Brickhouse.  Now more lair than set, if you're looking for the real Leo, look at that set. 

If it aint there he don't care. 

There isn't even a holiday bug on the edited shows!  (that translucent icon thing in the lower right corner.) For a guy so concerned with copyright you'd think that bug would be everywhere!

A heartfelt, "Meh" not only from viewers but the network itself.

If anything ever boosted ratings it was the Holidays.  Do something, anything special at the Holidays and you'll get eyeballs even if they're attached to a face that doesn't necessarily hold you in high regard.

But good old Leo can't be bothered even to feed the sycophantic TWIT fanboys ( yes, I stole that from Totaldrama ) 

Not even a  New Year's Eve special.  

Yes, I'll say it.  It was the one show that TWIT produced, aside from the Holiday Specials with John Hodgman and Jonathan Coulton that was actually worth watching.

Even if you hated Leo, watching it would at least give you the same sense of kinship with fellow geeks that normal people get from watching the Ball Drop in the aforementioned Time's Square

But we're not doing that.  We're sticking a Candy Cane on the set, putting a Santa Hat on the Channel Bug and calling it done.

Bad on Ya!

Neither Google nor TWIT has enough respect for their audiences to make anything but the most pitiful of efforts at the Holidays.

My rating for TWIT and Google's Holiday doodle's this year.

5 Heaping banks of Yellow snow....

Corden's Late Late Show - Night 3 or Oh GOD let it end!

Night 3...

Show opened with yet another Conan ripoff.  A pretaped comedy bit Corden calls Carpool Karaoke.  Mariah Carey must have nothing better to do because she was stuck in the passenger seat for it.  We were subjected to 5 minutes of James Corden doing a sing-along with Mariah Carey who was really only there to get a mention of her upcoming album on the show.

What did we learn? James Corden can't sing and he's got no game...

Now on to that ugly couch again....

Tonight's guests were Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart.  Corden stayed true to his formula having both Hart and Ferrell on at the same time.  We learned that Will Ferrell recently received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame which segued into a short comedy bit from Ferrell. 

Kevin Hart was there and that's about all we can say about that.  Will Ferrell on the other hand is virtually guaranteed to boost anybody's ratings.  True to form, he launched into numerous improv bits which was welcome relief to Corden's gushing. 

Intervening conversation included a deep discussion of the ass print Will Ferrel made in his latest movie, "Get Hard" which he co-stars with Kevin Hart followed by a clip from the film.

So far Corden's guests this week are by and large doing the current talk show circuit meaning their appearance is nothing special.  Ferrell and Hart, for example, are currently promoting their new film while Patricia Arquette was promoting her new series, CSI: Cyber.

The Jimmy Fallon rip-off bit tonight was a game called "Mind Link" with Corden playing emcee and Hart and Ferrell reading off note cards.  One set was questions and one answers and if the question and answer matched up it was considered a "Mind Link."

Yawn...

By the way, at one point before the game Corden said that if there was a "Mind Link" the patrons at the bar would get $100. 

Did I mention there's a bar on the set?  Yeah, it's just product placement for Bud Light so nothing to get excited about.  Now if somebody passed out at the bar or vomited during Corden's monologue that might be interesting...

Anyway, Corden promised that if a "Mind Link" happened that each patron would be guaranteed $100 which he calculated to be .27 cents a day for a year.  Apparently Corden doesn't have a calculator because .27 times 365 days only comes out to $98.55.  I'd be pissed if I didn't get my $1.45...

Back to the talk show textbook and again the show was brought to a close with yet another musical nobody.  This time it was an R&B group fronted by Leon Bridges only recently discovered at the drunkfest known as South by Southwest (SXSW.)  They weren't too bad, I'm sure they'll get booked for a lot of weddings now.

There were a few minutes left at the end of the show which Corden used to thank his guests and prove that he can add dancing to the skills he does not possess.

As I checked the schedule on CBS.com it showed that Thursday and Friday's shows were pre-empted.  This is the middle of March Madness which is the likely cause.  That or a golf game.  This is CBS you know. 

In any case I find it a blessing.  I know I've been pretty negative on Corden but I honestly hoped I would have changed my opinion but if anything my initial assessment back in November has been confirmed.  This guy has no talent and CBS is just throwing money at his show to make up for it. 

Online reviews have been overwhelmingly positive which I find suspect.  Either the reviewers are completely without taste, blind or paid off.   I wouldn't put it past CBS to pay for positive promotion of Corden's show as it's virtually impossible to find anything critical of it.  From British newspapers to Variety and CNN, nary a discouraging word can be found. 

I know you've seen those commercials for cleaning up your online image.  I bet CBS has one of those in their contact list...

Nobody is that perfect, especially James Corden.  There's no creativity here and his show reflects it.  It's a cavalcade of poorly executed rip-offs of other talk shows seasoned with a bit of British "chat show."   I don't know whether it's Corden or CBS that's responsible but I'd be surprised if the show has half as long a run as its predecessor.

So I'm going to end the series here.  Honestly, there's just nothing more to be said and I really don't like spending too much time on negative topics.  

I'm done with James Corden and thank the lord for that...

This guy makes Seth Meyers look entertaining.

Grade F -----