Positivity takes a beating

I'm tired, very tired...

In the last post I talked about finding the positive in all things and in spite of the tone of what may follow I still hold that tenet to be true.

A lot of things have happened in the last few weeks both wonderful and awful...

But at this moment something's transpired that I find hard to put the right words to now so forgive me if this is a bit disjointed and rambling.

I've spent a good portion of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Without going into a lot of boring details let's just say that I had good reason.  It's not a self-fulfilling prophecy kind of thing it's just the circumstances that surrounded me early on. 

If I told you the story you'd likely think I was making it up so I won't bother.  I'll say this.  It'd make a hell of a mini-series.  That's for damned sure.  

But it's taken a toll.  One that I'm just not willing to pay anymore.  It goes back to that whole prisoner of experiences thing. In the past, it's kept me from a lot of things and on the shore watching the waves instead of riding them.  

Positive energy begets positive energy and I choose to encourage the harvest whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Still, when the barbs come it still stings and one came today that...

Hit me hard.

Borrowing from my surfing analogy, it knocked me off my board but I was already having trouble with my balance anyway so it wasn't a huge surprise.  Still,  I'd have been a poorer man had I not at least tried to see where this path would lead. 

Right now it appears to be going in a solitary direction yet again but that's OK.  

Because I know that appearances aren't always fact I won't completely close the door to the possibilities because of the way things "seem."   I'm aware I'm not the best judge of anything right now and I have to be willing to step outside of what I "think" I know. 

I have to be willing to let things breathe a bit and see what develops once all the pieces are in place.

It's transcending the fear and doubt that tries to bind you that is the core of positivity  Embracing every moment for the lessons it offers and the clues to our own deepest selves.  Acknowledging that while the result may not be what you wanted; it was what you needed to grow.

I've never acted on a whim when it comes to being with the people I care about no matter how long I've known them.  There's a sense of a "lovely belonging" that doesn't happen with just anybody.  Those it does have been with me most of my life or at least have ultimately affected me in a very positive way.  So when I feel it I don't ignore it.


If someone can awaken the stirrings of the heart within you it's a great gift regardless of the outcome.  
Don't cheapen that gift.