I happened to be sampling all the bad relationship advice found on the Internet with all the same tired stereotypes and psychotic reasoning that goes along with it.
...and it pissed me off...
It's not meant to be directed at any one person but rather a spectrum of people in my and others experience.
I just had an epiphany or more accurately had it again.
I just remembered why I gave up on romantic relationships for the past decade or so...
You see, in the context of relationships I'm pretty much "The Nice Guy."
Which for both sexes pretty much puts the "sucker" brand on my forehead...
Screw your brands...
I've had it. I've had it with the games, the bad advice, the lies and the excuses.
I've had a front row seat to and been in enough of my own relationships to see just how much BS goes on. The subjugation of the self, the lies, the denial. All for the greater glory of bragging rights over your "unattached" friends.
"Oh god, you haven't been regularly dating? What's wrong with you? That's not normal...Oh I know this great..."
Screw you...
I choose not to because I prefer quality over quantity and as an ADULT I know what to look for without wearing out my mattress to figure it out.
I don't get involved with anyone for any reason other than I think they're worth it. PERIOD.
Can you say as much? Are your standards as high or do you just put up with whatever douchebag/bitch that comes along to convince yourself that you're "normal."
Your "normal" is sick...
The number 1 relationship tip is to love yourself first. If you're putting yourself through all that crap just to measure up to the status quo you can't like yourself much, let alone love...
Crap like...
The "chase," how women love the chase...
Chase this...
If your only validation is that someone actually WANTS to get your attention that's a pretty low bar.
So you overcompensate and set up a bunch of "rules" that might as well be built on the shifting sands of some hurricane battered beach.
"Oh, he calls and texts too much. He's too needy...." Even if it's a couple times a week a disinterested woman can blow it up to the proportions of "constant."
Now I admit this could be a reach (not) but just maybe your new "friend" is wondering why you suddenly dropped off the end of the Earth. Be honest for a change and just admit you either don't have time or don't have any interest. Relationships have 2 sides.
It's not "needy" if you're actually interested in someone though now is it? Be honest, if you can. No, never mind. You can't.
Men aren't the only ones with double standards...
If you had any real interest at all you'd be obsessing that he wasn't contacting you enough.
"He took 40 minutes to respond to my text! Why doesn't he like me!"
Let me clue you in. A guy that's interested in you is going to take any opportunity to talk to you regardless of whether he's a "nice guy." If you give him your number you're signalling that you're OK with it.
Don't like it? Don't give it to him till you actually WANT to talk to him on a regular basis or heaven forbid stop thinking we can read minds and just say so.
"I don't even talk to my friends every day."
Uh, yeah, yeah you do. At least in the beginning. That's how they became your friends. Otherwise you would never have gotten to know them. I've got friends going back 30 years that I regularly contact. Not as much these days because, well....
We know each other now.
How did that happen? We hung out a lot. Sometimes every day!
Friendships aren't metered like minutes on a mobile plan. Neither are romantic relationships. People get to know each other by hanging out and talking. They don't have to adhere to some BS schedule with acceptable hours and frequency because they already KNOW you and what's acceptable.
That happens because people who like each other actually want to spend time together not just endure it.
Otherwise you might as well be scheduling an appointment with a repairman.
You gonna hang out with butt-crack guy? Maybe consider the marriage potential?
Grow up...
What are we? A bunch of 5 year olds on the playground? Perhaps I should dip your pigtails in the inkwell then. That is how little boys used to show they liked a girl at that age...I guess they just like their Facebook page now.
What a bunch of bullshit.
Yes, it's wonderful when a relationship is new and you're feeling each other out. Although it seems that nowadays it's more like the real measure of "romance" is how fast you can feel each other up.
For men, the quicker the better for women it's how long they can hold him off.
Congratulations, you've graduated to high school groping in the back seat of mom's Prius.
How ironic. How hypocritical...
A guy that's honest and upfront is "weak and needy." While captain Douchebag could be a lying prick, you can't get your mind off the wedding invitations and your 2.3 kids.
What a load...
Then when he dumps you, abuses you, cheats or otherwise trashes your life you're mystified at how this "great guy" could have done you so wrong.
Here's a hint.. You picked him. Eyes firmly shut.
You based your decision on what you wanted instead of what you knew. This goes for guys too by the way...
Expectations again. Unspoken demands. They will ALWAYS FAIL YOU.
Want less heartbreak? How about actually appreciating honesty when it's offered instead of the hollow shell you hold up.
There's nothing that takes more courage for a man than admitting he loves another person. Nothing. We're even more terrified than you are of having our feelings betrayed.
By the way I mean REAL LOVE, not just saying the word to get into your pants.
Even the Macho asshole types are just scared little boys inside that don't want to be hurt.
The most unstable, insecure and immature men are the ones that treat women like garbage.
If you're OK being treated like garbage then don't be surprised when you get dumped.
Otherwise stop bagging on the "Nice Guys." Respect, attention and consideration are not abnormal behaviors but your reaction to them is.
Live up to your own standards and maybe the fucking divorce rate will finally drop.
I'm done with this...
