Kyrie To Moving in Stereo....God I'm so white.....

  

So I started out here..../\ /\

And Ended up here \/ \/

OMG!  What does it all mean!

P.S. Not looking for an answer here....Jeez! Lighten up!

Free association...Moving in Stereo

Moving in Stereo, who needs 5.1

"So easy to blow up your problems, so easy to play up your breakdown..."

Too much drama, desensitized, deaf, only about you... 

Who cares what I feel right?

I need to quit thinking I can help people that don't want to be helped....

I need to stop falling for people who don't give a damn...

I need to learn to be a better sociopath.  They seem to succeed in everything in this fucked up world.

Nah, too much conscience for that...

Sounds, colors, thoughts, emotions, a dirty canvas.   Throw it out.

Too much in my heart, keeps stirring the soul.  Dumbass...

Shattered, not quite but the cracks are obvious.

Always the same, always sad songs.

A curse of knowing.  An endless loop of....what?

Did I ever tell you?  

I knew she'd leave me.  When I asked for her hand her dad said to me, " don't break her heart" 

I said, " Don't worry, she'll probably break mine "

God, I knew then...

Another Her... 

My fault, her fault, nobody's fault.

It's just...

Things uncovered long buried. I never dealt with them I just ignored them and 20 years later made the same choices.

Mom's fault, Dad's fault..Who is he again?  Who fucking cares.

Only reprieve, I make others happy.

Without that...

Best not to dwell.  

Tired of the same hamster wheel...

No worries, but no I don't care if you think I'm nuts.  How perfect is your life?

Do you dare look closer?

Your own lie to bear.

At least I admit to mine.

Too many "hers" I've waited on.

One blessing makes all this pass.

The other shoe has dropped.and I'm still here.

No so bad after all...

Stronger than I thought.

Too bad only I know it...

Whatever...

"All mixed up..."Don't care, not my problem...

"Leave it to me..." 

Yeah, that's the problem.  

Never EVER leave it to someone else.

Hey God, could we stop this now?

A lottery win or something would be nice...

Dumbass...

Me, not God 


Somebody would be offended...


Let's stay away from the whole God thing...


"She never does arrive" 


So I'll stop waiting...

Stupid games, too old for this crap...


Rah..

I Don't Know...and that's OK

So I have this bare spot on my front lawn.  At this point it's become more of a bare "section" right smack dab in the middle where everyone can see it.

It's like walking up to the podium to accept an Oscar with your fly down.

Oh yeah, I know I'm supposed to be watering, seeding, fertilizing and all that stuff but it often seems much of that effort goes to waste.  To me the lawn is just another thing I take little joy in mostly because the returns are minimal.  Water is expensive and so is everything else that it takes to have a perfect green carpet.

Scarce resources demand compromise and there's a lot of that around here.  Although I do a fairly good job of hiding it a trained eye could spot my deception.  Would I like everything to be perfect?  Sure I would and I'll make it that way if I can.  Still, in the end the returns are superficial.  There are things far more important to know and invest myself in.


We can't know everything about everything and it's OK to admit that.  Everyone's different with their own unique talents.  Me, I'm good around cars and basic home repair but I wouldn't say I was an expert in them. 

I'm pretty good with people too but by no means an expert and sometimes I make mistakes.  OK, I make mistakes more than sometimes but that's how we learn.  I'm subject to the same biases and subjective noise as anyone else but I try to stay aware of such things so I can get past them.  No great feat really.  I'm just willing to ignore those things that may be superficially objectionable to find the real person.

The things I know about myself, the things I believe in about me or someone else often have no words.  The things that matter are often that way.  I'd rather show than tell and sometimes it's clumsy or ill-timed.

That's OK too.  So long as it's an honest expression there's no greater gift even if the wrapping is a little messed up.

The most genuine thing you can ever admit to yourself is that you simply don't know.  Hopefully followed up by,  "but I want to learn."

"I Don't Know" isn't an end, it's a beginning...

A passion for the discarded

I've always had a special kind of reverence for old things.  Things discarded, battered and within an inch of being just a pile of scrap.

I'll look at an old car rusting away in some forsaken back lot and think, What was it like when it was new.  What places did it go and whom did it carry there.  What was the world like around it.  No doubt very different from where it is now.

It's a little sad to see such things discarded simply because they've fallen out of favor with their owners.

I feel the same way about anything abandoned, discarded, unloved...

But while I feel a subtle tug at the heart strings I also see potential.  I never believe anything is too far gone so long as someone is willing to take up the challenge to breathe life back into it.

Yes, there are exceptions and some things are just meant to be thrown away but these days it seems we treat everything from the cars we drive to the people we meet the same way.  Disposable when in our estimation they become too cumbersome.

I've been a fan of Science Fiction since I was a kid which is where I first noticed this fascination with the discarded and neglected.  I was a huge fan of Star Trek (the original series) and always watched with intense interest when the good ship Enterprise would visit some derelict spaceship or forgotten world.  

One of my favorite episodes was entitled, "The Doomsday Machine"  Where Kirk and crew set off to discover the fate of their sister ship who had suffered an unfortunate encounter with a world eating mechanized monster.

What fascinated me wasn't the alien device, however.  It was the bruised, battered hulk of a starship hanging helpless in the cold blackness of space.

The destruction was palpable but what thrilled me was when it was brought at least partially back to life ultimately sacrificing itself and providing the vehicle for Kirk to once again save the galaxy.

It was that last gasp of life.  The Phoenix rising from the ashes if not a bit battered in the process but nonetheless once again relevant.

It's taught me a lesson.  Nothing is beyond hope so long as you're willing to try and the rewards can be truly great.  

I have two cars one is over 40 years old and I've owned it more than half of my life.  It's what I call a project car meaning there's always something to be done.  Mind you, many things have been done but part of the joy of owning it is the ever present opportunity to make it a little better.

When I first bought it nobody paid much attention.  20 years later, however, it seems I can't drive it a block without it coaxing a smile or an impromptu conversation.

It seems to bring others more joy than even I get from it.  I can only guess as to why but if I dared to try it's probably this...

It's not disposable.

It's a reminder that with effort,, some patience and a little love anything is within reach even if nobody else thinks it's worth the effort.

That's why I have a special place in my heart for those old, special things. They're a link to a tapestry of memories that can add color to an otherwise mundane present.

It's worth it to bring some of them into our future. 

By the way, I'm not just talking about cars and barns.  Today we live in a society that's far too quick to label everything disposable, even when those things posess a heart and a soul.

Learn to see the value after the luster has faded.  Learn to see the potential in the passed by.

.

Where the rich white men go

It's spring in Palm Beach again and just as has happened for the previous decade Barrett Jackson's parade of rolling dreams is underway. 

The differences between the Scottsdale and Florida events are minimal but noticeable.  For one thing, you're not going to see any 4.2 million dollar original Batmobiles roll under the palm trees.  This is an auction more in line with the well heeled collector looking for a sharp daily driver than a 1 of 1 rarity.

Oh, the feature cars are there but they're mixed in with somebody's 10 year old cast off Mercedes 500 SL.  You don't see as many of the heavy hitter bidders at this auction either mostly because the pickings aren't as choice.  That 70 Challenger RT is more likely to be a one-off custom than a build sheet matching original. 

You do see more examples of Lamborghini's, Ferrari's and the like mostly due to their popularity in the region and of course the concentration of wealth on the Right coast.  The mix of offerings reflects a different attitude toward collectible automobiles in the region. 

Where a 60's muscle car may bring six figures at Scottsdale the same car could bring much less at the spring event.  A smaller consignment pool and more variety has a lot to do with it.  At Scottsdale a featured original Hemi 'Cuda will likely have at least a dozen other customs that will benefit from a strong sale. 

If it's stuck between a couple of Lamborghini's and Charity customs it will likely suffer unless it's got a very strong provenance.  In other words the buyers have to know about it before it ever goes on sale. 

Jet powered Semi Trucks  aside, the offerings tend to be more practical than whimsical.  Emotion plays a much smaller role and the prices reflect that.  In short, the event is probably your best bet for getting a reasonable price on a collector vehicle at a Barrett-Jackson auction.

Still, if you can stomach Speed channel's coverage of the event you'll notice many of the lots being  sold to the same buyers.  Most of which happen to be well heeled old white men that have made Craig Jackson a millionaire in the past 15+ years of his control of the auction.

If Scottsdale is the example of wretched excess and you want to find an example of what the 1% consider a discount store, the Palm Beach event is a good place to start.

    

The need for the impractical

The video is from the last episode of the 2009 season of BBC's Top Gear and it moves me.  It's not that I'm particularly taken with the Aston Martin V12 Vantage but rather about why it's important.

Although I don't reflect it much in these pages I am at heart an incurable gearhead.  I don't look at the automobile as a mere means of conveyance but rather an expression of the soul. 

We live in a world bent on the disposable.  Nothing we own is designed to be held, cherished or valued beyond its immediate purpose.  Our busy lives cluttered with the trappings of a rudimentary survival leave little room for the seemingly impractical.

I understand the need for the purely practical vehicle but it should hold no higher rank than one that evokes the emotions.  We seem to forget that life is a gift meant to be embraced not suffered.  The soul needs as much nourishment as the body but its frequently denied. 

And we suffer.  Our minds trapped in the narrow constraints of our profession.  Our relationships never fully realized, our dreams never known.  A sad construct reinforced by the demands of the mundane.   We tell ourselves that someday we will be able to live our dreams if we just deny ourselves a little longer.  The focus is on the destination but sadly we find ourselves unfulfilled when we get there.  All the time, all the effort for little more than a brutal survival near our inevitable end. 

Practicality has its place but we need to take advantage of all the journey has to offer.

For me, the sight of an early 70's pony car starts my mind racing.  Perhaps it's in sad shape.  Oxidized paint, a cracked taillight or mismatched wheels, it doesn't matter.   My heart doesn't see an impractical jalopy destined for the crusher,  I see a cry for rebirth.

And given the opportunity, I'd gladly play midwife...

Yes compared to a hybrid, it will probably swallow fuel like a drunkard swills cheap wine, it will require constant attention like a young child and will never meet the measure of practicality.  It doesn't matter.  I'll form a connection that feeds my soul and that's its purpose.  

Anything can get me from point A to point B. 

I want to be conscious of the journey and I want the opportunity to make it to continue on.  That can't happen in a Prius.

Much ado about a Tesla

Article first published as Much Ado About a Tesla on Technorati.

After 2 weeks it seems everyone has an opinion on why New York Times journalist John M Broder had such a disappointing experience with the Tesla Model S.  From his original article it appeared that the car of the future wasn't quite ready for primetime in spite of claims to the contrary and 13,000 pre-orders for the model.

Broder's extended test drive was meant to simulate a long distance road trip to measure the practicality of the car with a focus on "future" charging stations.  What he found was a vehicle and an infrastructure  unprepared for "the real world."  A reality underscored by woefully inadequate vehicle support and a mileage range that was overly optimistic at best.  Broder wasn't aware, for example, that the Model S batteries could lose most of their charge in cold temperatures.  An event Broder experienced during his  trip. 

Shortly after Broder published his misadventures with the car, Tesla's CEO Elon Musk shot back on the company's blog accusing  Broder of  improperly operating  the car.  Musk revealed that the cars detailed data logging showed that Broder appeared to be trying to run the car out of charge and deliberately ignored warning indicators. 

Musk appears to believe Broder has it in for the electric car and cited a previous article of his as proof.  In Musk's blog he quoted Broder,

"Yet the state of the electric car is dismal, the victim of hyped expectations, technological flops, high costs and a hostile political climate."

Musk again relying on the data logging of the car revealed that Broder had driven the car at the "excessive" speeds of anywhere between 65 and 81 MPH for the majority of the trip with the heater set to 72 F.  Which apparently is unreasonable for a long road trip in middle of a New England winter.

What's been lost in the dust-up is a very real truth.  The all electric vehicle may be part of our motoring future but it's not exclusive to it.  Should Broder have spent a few hours reading the owner's manual and mapped out his route more carefully?  Probably, but just as the superior music quality of the CD lost out to the convenience of the MP3, a successful all electric vehicle will need to be easy to operate.

The excuse of failure because "you didn't use it right" doesn't hold any water anymore.  The "real" world rarely offers up ideal conditions and consumer products need to be able to cope with that fact.  If you claim an average range of 265 miles on a charge but base it on ideal weather and traffic conditions at  50MPH speeds you're not reflecting the "real" world. 

After reading Musk's blog entry I can't help but draw similarities between him and Jimmy Fallon's patronizing Saturday Night Live character of Nick Burns, the computer guy.

                                             

A lifestyle event, now with stereotypes!

Article originally published on Technorati as: A lifestyle event, now with stereotypes!

It's January in Scottsdale, Arizona and that huge traffic jam on the 101 freeway can only mean one thing, Barrett-Jackson's back.  With examples from classic to wild custom there's always something to drool over at this largest of the four Barrett-Jackson auctions. 

It's said to be "The" automotive event of the year that both collector's and wannabe's alike use to value their dreams.  Is that all original Hemi RoadRunner in your garage  a good investment or is it just another Satellite?  Barrett-Jackson will clear that up for you.

Since 1993 Speed Channel, now called just "Speed" and recently acquired by Fox networks has broadcast the event.  Each year a week's worth of coverage in the middle of January dominates the otherwise Nascar centric programming on the channel.  It offers a view into not only the cars but the lifestyle and people that surround them. 

Watch it for an hour and you notice that the "lifestyle" is populated by primarily affluent 50'ish white men.  None of which seem to have any compunction against throwing ridiculous sums of money at cars your parents probably couldn't wait to get rid of back in the day.  They call it an investment but it's dubious reasoning.  The collector car market is as fickle as Wall street.  It's more likely an attempt to recapture lost youth with a bit of braggadocio thrown in at their financial ability to try.

Speed has always been good about staffing the event with veteran commentators from across motorsports.  Whether they've been covering Nascar or writing articles for Hot Rod there's sure to be at least one you can identify with.

Which makes a recent change to the event coverage perplexing.  Last year saw the addition of what can only be described as a "booth bunny" to the lineup.  I appreciate an attractive woman as much as the next guy but does shoehorning a stereotype from a bikini contest really add anything to the broadcast?

There's nothing wrong with female broadcasters so let's get that out of the way.  Speed's choice, however,  is little more than a foil for dumb blonde jokes.  Is there a dearth of female motorsports commentators versed in their subject? If this is the way motorsports views women I wouldn't blame them for staying away. 

Still, it's not as though Speed hasn't had access to female journalists at least familiar with motorsports.  Is it too much to ask to not perpetuate a stereotype?  It's demeaning.  On Wednesday night's broadcast for example,April Rose (of Maxim fame) was seated in a driving simulator and actually said,

"They should make one of these for women drivers where everyone stayed far away" 

I hate Internet shorthand but...O M G ! 

She even did the hair flip thing! 

Gender equality set back 50 years in 20 seconds.  Were I an affluent woman considering the purchase of one of these shining examples of lost youth I'd likely have switched off Speed channel's coverage left the auction and headed across the street to Russo and Steele instead..

I'd like to say it was an isolated incident but unfortunately it was only one of many.  It's obvious that to the old white men in charge of Fox, she is the pinnacle of female broadcasting.