Down with Sushi Plates for Burgers!

I like a good hamburger.

In fact it's the high point of my week to have one of the so-called "gourmet" variety offered up by such eateries as Red Robin, Islands and a few dozen others that come to mind.

I'm not talking about some tasteless drive-thru  processed meat product with cheese-like topping  on a stale bun where the only garnish is some sad little packet of ketchup.

 Oh no, no, no, no!

A good burger is a symphony of flavors that requires far more commitment than would fit in any paper bag.

We're going to need extra napkins kiddies!

Ahhh, the ecstasy of it all...except.

For some strange reason a disturbing trend has been slowly creeping into my favorite red meat refuges.

It's a quiet revolution but a revolution nonetheless!

Dear friends a nefarious plan is afoot!  A culinary crisis!

Slowly but surely the reign of the round dinner plate is coming to an end replaced with that scourge of flatware...

The Sushi plate.

You've seen them.  They're those horrible rectangular atrocities that barely contain your food.  Perfectly suited for spring rolls and a light dipping sauce but an absolute menace to the devotees of the flame-broiled patty!

I suppose there's some reason behind it.  Perhaps they find the rhombus superior to the ellipse in such things as loading the dishwasher.  Maybe it allows servers to carry more plates.

I don't care.  It ruins the experience. 

Why bother with a plate at all if it's incapable of containing the food placed upon it?

It never seems to fail.  Inevitably I end up with something in my lap or on the table that really should have been in my mouth.  This was far less of an issue with round plates. 

It's not just burgers either.  They do it with salads and pasta too.

I've yet to meet a salad that didn't need some finessing with knife and fork before consuming.   But be warned!  Slice and Dice with caution lest you find half your greenery gracing the table when you're through.

I shouldn't have to think this much about a damned plate! 

I want my round plates back!  I'm not interested in geometry just practicality. 

There's a reason tires and lazy Susan's are round!  They just work better that way.

Hamburgers and pasta are not "dainty" meals so stop serving them on flatware that can't possibly contain the experience of consuming them. 

You might just as well throw the food at me from across the room because I'll have the same chance of leaving the restaurant wearing a portion of my meal.

It's ruining the experience enough for me to notice.

So...

OUT WITH THE SUSHI PLATES!

Not so "Super" Bowl 50

I have to wonder...

I'm sitting there passively watching yet another Super Bowl unfold while I busy myself with more important things like watching paint dry or folding socks.  It's a Sunday so this is the most exciting entertainment option available (which isn't saying much) and at least in this country it's something of a big deal to see the last football game of the season. 

I could care less about who's winning, I'm here in the hope that perhaps I'll find some entertainment value in the halftime show or a few clever commercials that always seem to crop up this time of year.

So let's take a look at the halftime show...

Unless you're a big fan of Beyonce's thighs in hot pants, a U2 cover band and an also ran pop star the halftime show was in a word, half-assed.

The performances forgettable, the manufactured message of unity obvious and the choreography on par with a bunch of pre-pubescent majorettes marching in a Thanksgiving Day parade.

In short...WTF?

Nothing memorable here.  I don't even like Katy Perry's music but she knocked it out of the park last year.  I can appreciate talent and effort even if I'm not a fan of the artist.  Maturity allows for that.  It also allows me to come up with brutally honest analogies.   This year's halftime show looked like a hip-hop cheerleader review at a high school football game.

I won't even talk about the game.  Who cares?  The Broncos were celebrating victory with 10 minutes left on the clock for god's sake.

Take the NFC championship, put the Panthers in Cardinals uniforms and you pretty much have the same game.  It was over in the first quarter.  OK, to be fair,  at least the Panthers  pretended to play a football game.

Don't even get me started on the commercials.  Boring, lackluster and devoid of creativity.  Toyota tried to convince America that bank robbery was best accomplished in a Prius.  Anthony Hopkins was hocking free Tax software, 

Christopher Walken was trying to convince you that a dowdy Korean Sedan was a testosterone therapy replacement and Alec Baldwin was... I don't know what he was doing.  He must have needed the cash. 

No tear jerking Budweiser puppies, just Helen Mirren making you feel bad about yourself.  And what the hell? Pokemon and PuppyMonkeyBaby?

I get the feeling this whole game and everything surrounding it was nothing more than a Peyton Manning retirement party.  It was almost like they hired a bunch of people off of Craigslist to pull it off.

This is what you get when the Half-time show is based on Internet memes.

At least there was Colbert when it was over...

TWIT: slow motion suicide

My aunt had a favorite phrase when someone kept vacillating over a fairly obvious decision.

"Shit or get off the pot"

Now I admit, I may be "slightly" under the influence of something as I compose this but it only served to release the diamond that I had been forming in my posterior...

TWIT either needs to admit its positioning itself for takeover (aka: oblivion) or admit they've screwed up the last 4 years and do a 180.

Look, TWIT is in a slow decline and frankly nothing ever changes for the better there.  Yay! Marketing Mavericks is finally gone but it took a damned year to figure out that it was a flawed concept to begin with.  GameOn! was dead in 3 months...

I mean, did anyone in their right mind really want to hear about the triumphs of the very scum whose endeavors brought about a million dollar industry of ad blocking apps?

There are very few shows I have even a passing interest in on TWIT anymore and the latest episode of Windows Weekly was one of them.

That was until episode #411 when instead of scintillating Microsoft Build news I got left field commentary from Laporte and Thurrott fueled by craft beer and Bourbon.  All the while Mary Jo Foley desperately tried to reign in some measure of content to no avail.  Even special guests like Dr. Pizza couldn't do any more than repeat the same diatribe over and over again.

Truth be told, around 3PM I was far more interested in today's episode of Star Trek ( the original series ) and after an hour and a half of non-content from the "special" Windows Weekly I'd had enough.  Yes, it was so bad that a 40+ year old rerun of a TV show I've seen a dozen times was of far more importance than news of the latest Windows release.

C'mon, have we lost all respect for the time the few fans of TWIT invest in its mediocre content?

Now we have a new controversy hot on the heels of dissing yet another popular TWIT host, Chad Johnson.  I'm not even going to touch the whole Giz Wiz, Dick DeBartolo thing. 

It seems there may be some question as to the legality of The New Screen Savers in the person of one NBC/Universal who have apparently sent a "cease and desist" letter to TWIT over infringement of their copyright.  

On this point I agree that NBC's assertion of copyright is an example of the worst aspects of copyright.  I mean, who the hell cares about a bunch of outdated content from a decade ago that the current "owner" has shoved so far down the rat hole that they can't even find all of it.

But I digress.  This isn't about any shared views I may have with TWIT over flawed copyright laws.  Even in this small moment of reason, TWIT's position falls to just another manifestation of an over inflated ego.

Yeah, it's obvious, I read totaldrama.net today and discovered a few more gems and while it's really nothing I should be concerned about, nonetheless, I am.

You see, TWIT as it is now is the very representation of failing upward.

Instead of succeeding on your merits, it seems TWIT's "business" plan is predicated on doing everything but capitalizing on what it used to do best.  That being to provide informative content.

I'm so damned tired of "bubble boys" who exist only to feed their own egos. 

They are the leeches of a civilized society.  They exist to feed but contribute nothing to its advancement.  When ego, greed and hubris are the only end there can be no humility. 

To those who say I should just drop it, I say you're naiveté may be cute but it's getting a bit old.  TWIT, Leo Laporte and all the rest mean nothing in the greater societal consciousness but your acceptance of its relevance without critical review is dangerous.

If all a popular figure needs to do is play with some gadgets and have a silky smooth radio voice to sway you what else will you fall for.

Engage critical thinking and put the troll to bed.  Do this in all things and maybe the evil world you constantly seek to save will actually start to improve.

Meerkat

Heard about Meerkat? 

No not the small mammal, rather it's the latest thing in social dysfunction...err...media.

However, there is a correlation.  If you get a bunch of Meerkats together they're called a mob...

Who cares...

Blown up by drunk geek fandom at this year's South by Southwest (SXSW) Meerkat is the latest social darling embraced by the technorati. 

In a word it's simply an app (isn't is always..) that allows you to stream video to twitter in real time.  If you're amongst the social set and you have an Iphone there's little doubt that you've at least tried it out.

Look folks, there's nothing new here including the fresh round of 12 million worth of investments from hipster venture capitalists. 

Of course there's never been anything like it which explains the excitement...  Well, unless you've used Twitstreams or Broadcast for Friends.  Remember those? Yeah, me neither...

It's a live streaming app that only allows "live, no reruns" meaning if you want someone's stream later you'd better hope the budding documentarian uploads the video to his/her YouTube channel.   There is no cloud storage option. 

The only real difference here is that there's more bandwidth to waste now.  So everyone with an Iphone is streaming everything from their vacation to their lunch. 

Get ready for those realtime lunch videos!  Now you can watch every sloppy bite!  

Even celebrities have jumped onboard like the Today show's Al Roker streaming his haircut.  If watching Al Roker getting his head shaved isn't the poster child for the app I don't know what is...

I suppose you've "arrived" when Vogue gets excited about you....

So obviously I'm not impressed.  Not because I'm against innovation but rather I'm against useless fads.  Remember Flappy Bird? How about Vine?  Two more examples of million dollar ideas with absolutely no redeeming value.

That's what ticks me off.  I'm sick of apps that do nothing more than make users look more stupid than they already do.  Where's the benefit?  What's new here?  Nothing really, it's just another case of technology enabling a convergence between bad judgment and alcohol.    

In the end the only real winners are the developers and the cell carriers raking in the bucks when clueless users blow past their data limits.

There's nothing new here, move along to the next meme...

The YouTube monetization follies

I've been waiting....

Waiting for YouTube's vaunted "content ID" system to screw up and it finally did, big time...

On my other blog, Midagedgamer.blogspot.com I do a weekly gaming news wrap-up that generally includes a video of me reporting on the week's events.

For the Week of November 16th I took great pains to not run afoul of anything that would deny me the 26 cents of revenue I could potentially make from viewings.  (I'm not that popular on YouTube)

I had run afoul of the arbitrary copyright enforcement processes that YouTube employs before but in each case I was never clear on exactly what the issue was.  As such I usually hold my breath on every upload till my video clears all of YouTube's legal hurdles.

Knowing that I'm not going to make a living off YouTube I primarily do the videos as a convenience to my Blog readers.  It's also a decent way of getting some cross-pollination between the blogs and the YouTube channel.

Back to my latest YouTube adventure...

After 24 hours of waiting for my monetization request to be approved I finally got the dreaded,
"We need proof of commercial use rights to monetize" email.  I knew it was coming.  Monetization is usually instantaneous unless the video gestapos think there's a problem....

At this time, we are unable to approve your video(s) because we do not have sufficient information regarding your commercial use rights. We may consider your video(s) for further review provided you verify that you are authorized to commercially use all of the elements of your content. This includes all video, images, music, video game footage, and any other audio or visual elements. Learn more Please note that YouTube reserves the right to make the final decision whether to monetize a video, and we may disable monetization for partners who repeatedly submit ineligible videos. All videos are subject to our Terms of Service and Community Guidelines, and may be removed from the site if they do not meet those standards. Please submit your additional information below: "Black ops 2, THQ, AMD, & Sinofsky in the news" Remember that a variety of factors, such as video performance, may affect review time. We may not be able to process every submission, but we continually monitor these factors and prioritize accordingly. Thanks, The YouTube Team

Proof of what? That I have the right to use my own face, voice and content?  Let's not forget that I'm fully cognizant of the gestapo tactics of YouTube's copyright policing so I do everything I can to make sure I don't have to deal with them. 

My reply was simple...

After clicking the "Contains only my own original content" option from the drop down menu under the video's monetization tab I wrote...

Details?  Here they are.  Nothing in this video violates any copyright or requires a release from any party but me.  There are no background noises, radio broadcasts or reflections of a television broadcast in my glasses or anything else that could cause any issue with copyrights not held by me personally.

All the content contained in the video is 100% original and of my own creation.  I challenge you to prove otherwise as I'm confident your efforts will be unsuccessful.

In short, it's my ugly face, crappy voice, bad editing and original content.  The fish has signed a release as well and there is no content that wasn't created and controlled by me in the video. (I usually have my aquarium in the shot in case you wondered) 

To satisfy your request for proof of ownership I make the following statement...

I hereby authorize myself to use whatever content I may produce without restriction.  All content claimed by me is under my direct control.  No copyrighted or derivative works appear in the subject video and I certify that all the content is owned and created by me with all associated copyrights at my disposal.

So now I wait.  In the meantime the few views I have gotten haven't netted me a dime (which would be 1/2 my revenue! )  while I go through the process.

UPDATE:  As of Nov. 27th YouTube still hasn't monetized the video but had no problem with the prior or following videos...

Are you out of your F'ing....

Are you out of your F'ing mind??!

I just read this article and while I admit it is a bit old (March 2010) the premise is utterly preposterous.

Here's the link...Perspective: Keep working (Even if you don't get paid)

The author suggests keeping the same work routine you had before you became unemployed.

This assumes quite a lot such as; the work you were assigned was still relevant ( dubious if you've been downsized) and that you'll develop bad habits if you break your worker bee routine (god forbid you figure out that you'd be better off contracting.)

There's no doubt in my mind that this individual has never had the misfortune of going an indeterminate amount of time without a steady paycheck. Being a science publication it's also obvious that the author has benefitted from working in the public and/or education sector as well (tenure anyone?)

It's natural. When things are going well your mindset is totally different than if you're scraping the bottom of the barrel just to find enough money to keep the lights on and enjoy a hearty meal of ramen noodles for dinner.

There's almost a sense of euphoria among those who've never stared the specter of financial disaster in the face. They just don't understand how things can go wrong often asserting that they would never stoop to such degradation as taking unemployment or letting a credit card account go bad.

I'm unsure of the source of the quote (and I do paraphrase) but someone once said the measure of a man wasn't what they did in good times but how they weathered the hard times.

Yes, by all means do what you can to keep your skills up but this article suggests working for free for the company that canned you. I'm sorry but if you're let go for whatever reason consider those bridges burned. If they valued you you'd still be there. It's been my experience that once you've been escorted to the door there's no longer a desire to see you walk back in through it, even for free.

I could care less what the U.S. Bureau of statistics says about the bad habits of the unemployed. For one thing nobody I know or have ever known (including me) has ever been interviewed by them so I'm suspect of their findings.

The second assertion came shortly after the quote from a supposed hiring manager, "I have no problem hiring the unemployed. But I will not hire people who are not working"

Really? well thank god for that because you sir are not looking for a resource, you're looking for a slave.

I see the perspective of a taskmaster here. Perhaps because I'm someone who's spent most of his career as an independent contractor I have trouble playing devil's advocate in this case. I'm more about the product than procedure to make it which runs contrary to the prevailing 19th century work ethic.

That's the mantra that says no work gets done unless it's closely monitored and controlled.

The reality is that if you can't get work in your field, working for free won't pay the bills and at some point you're likely to end up pushing shopping carts around Home Depot to pay the rent. This isn't unlike the advice given in those outdated self-help books about how to land the perfect job. You know the ones that say to go work as an unpaid intern for a year hoping to get an entry level position. That's fine if someone can afford to support you but that's been a rarity for a couple of decades now.

The other thing that's not addressed is the cost of working. If you continue doing what you did before you got canned you'll soon find that you're going through an awful lot of cash.

Take the work for free at your old employer jazz. 

You still have the costs just to get there. Fuel costs, bus fare, etc. Then there's the costs for unimportant things like lunch, parking fees and dry cleaning. After all, even if you're sadistic ex-employer does take advantage of your "work for free" offer they won't be happy if you show up in shorts and flip flops. 

Let's also not forget that as a non-employee you will no longer have access to company resources like computers or the internet so you'll have to provide your own. That's at least $100 a month outlay tethering a laptop to a smartphone.

I'm suspicious of this entire article and find it almost insulting. What is even more insulting is the fact that it's on a site called, "sciencecareers"

I'm not the flat earth type but this type of advice makes everyone in the discipline look a bit naive.